I'm writing from Leba,where 2 years ago we took our only vacation.
I took the train to Stettin,then I hitchhiked and walked along the tracks. The rest of the trip was on the old fishing boat.
Just like we did back then.
And now I sit here wondering why I went through all this again.
I was so happy when I back then that I didn't know what to do. I never thought things wound end this way. I can't think of anything but you and the dreams that won't fulfilled now, because I was a stupid idiot.
I know I made the same mistake you made. Who did what with or without feelings doesn't matter.
I know I hurt you,and that makes me very sad. You asked me to forgive you,and I said it wasn't so simple.
It is simple, if I my swallow my dumb,male pride. I'm doing that now.
As I do it,all the angry is gone. Instead...
I'm empty and sad.
Anna,I don't know what to do. I miss you so much.I miss your smile,your skin. I miss your laugh, and your swollen eyes when you wake up. I wanted to have a little Anna with you or maybe five.
I known I was inattentive,not because I didn't love you anymore, but because I took it for granted that we'd always be together.
Anna, don't put me out on a sheet of ice. I want a dignified old age. I want to feed the ducks with you.
I know that I left,but I really want to come back. I cannot live without you,Anna.
PS: If you take me back again, you can let your leg and armpit hair grow as much as you want. I promise.