最欣慰的便是twist sister终于和好了啊。小C说,How dare you say I haven't changed. How dare you say I am the same person I was when I got here, before I knew Burke and Owen and you….I've changed. I'm doing things alone. And that's…that's just as hard as what you're doing. But I thought I would at least have you. 想起小C刚从Mayo飞回来的那时候,冬日的上午跑到医院的外面的座椅上去晒太阳,前面站了一排intern,当她仰着头接着阳光说你们知道这个国家哪个州最冷吗的时候,我的眼泪都飙了出来。Cristina Yang的最后一季了,纵是不舍,仍然祝福。
还有小黑对小四月的表白:
I love you, April. I always have. I-I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love. And I want you with me. I love you, and I think…That you love me, too. Do you?
让我想起GA里那些动听的情话:
Mere在Addi初来SGH,Derek还在动摇的时候:
Ok…here it is: your choice… it’s simple---her, or me. And I’m sure she is really great, but Derek, I love you…in a really really big…pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheese cake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunately that makes me hate you…love you. So, pick me! Choose me! Love me!
Burke婚礼前在O.R.复述接下来的婚礼要说的誓词的时候:
Christina, I could promise to hold you, and to cherish you. I could promise to be there in sickness and in health. I could say, till death to us apart, but I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples. The ones full of hope, and I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic, I am not hopeful. I am SURE. I am STEADY. And I KNOW. I'm a heart man. I take them apart, I put them back together. I hold them in my hands. I AM a heart man. So this, I AM SURE You are my partner, my lover, my very best friend. My heart, MY HEART, beats for you. And on this day. The day of our wedding. I promise you this. I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands. I promise you, ME.
But sir, when his hand was shaking, I performed the surgeries, I kept his secrets, I nursed his pride... you know it and I know it, he knows it. He knows it and yet nowhere in that newspaper article does my name appear. I am the unseen hand to his brilliance. And yet while everything is the same it is very, very different. Now I'm lucky if I get to hold a clamp. Hahn treats me like... I was his hand and now I'm a ghost. That is not difficult... it's unbearable. Everybody is proud of him... but I'm not... I do not wish him well.
Lexie向Mark语无伦次的表白的时候:
I love you. Oh god, oh my god. That just came fly-flying out of my face like it was-was some kind of... I-I-I love you. I just -- God, I did it again. I-I-I love you. I-I do. I just -- I-I love you. And I have been trying not to say it. I have been trying so hard to just mesh it done, ignore it and not to say it. And Jackon is a great guy. He-he is. He's-he's gorgeous and-and he's younger than you, and he doesn't have any grandkids or-or babies with his lesbian bffs. And he's an Avery and-and he liked me, you know? He-he really liked me, but it was never going to work out, because I-I love you. I'm so in love with you. And you're-you're-you're in me. It's you-you're it's-it's like you're a disease. It's like I'm infected by Mark Sloan. And I just can't-- I can't think about anything or anybody. And I can't sleep, I can't breath, I can't eat, I love you. I just love you all the time, it's-- every minute of every day. And I-I-I-I love you. God, that feels good just to-to say that. I'm-- I feel so much better. I was just-- I love you. Mark ?
Someone who doesn't care to cook or get out of bed when it's not a work day. Someone who sleeps so soundly and peacefully that...I have to check her pulse sometimes. Someone who's suffered and understands suffering——to the point that I don't have to say a word . She just looks at me and sees who I am and how I feel ...and accepts it . You know, she doesn't try to change it, doesn't want to change it. That person. There's a billion people out there, but I imagine...there's only one of her .
Owen表白之后的下一集,便到了本季传说中的“平行集”。故事没有如想象中一般,回到美好如初的过去,而是在Cristina对未来的预想中展开两条线索进行叙述。一个病例、两个选择,人生被指向两条迥异的路,路的尽头却是殊途同归的憾痛。平行集看得很心酸,永远处于PTSD阶段的Owen,有了孩子放弃自己梦想看着别人璀璨的Cristina,坚持不要孩子和Owen间歇性地处于争吵状态的Cristina,结束了和Owen的感情终究孤独却又风华绝代地登上Harper Avery奖台的Cristina,在人生最巅峰的状态却无法和Owen分享幸福的Cristina。无论如何他们也无法在一起,这是大妈理念中的另一种meant to be么?最后的最后,当现实中的Cristina从手术室里走出来正要和等电梯的Owen摊牌时,Mer过来找她consult,Owen瞥到了她,微微一笑走进电梯。你永远不知道她想说的是什么。但是你知道,这可能是真正意义上的结束了。
If there's one thing I've learned over the years, is that it only takes one person, one patient, one moment, to change your life forever... to change your perspective, color your thinking, to force you to re-evaluate everything you think you know... to make you ask yourself toughest questions... Do you know who you are? Do you understand what has happened to you? Do you want to live this way?
看GA那么久,终于在第10季的第2集,看到了Yang的脆弱。一直认为她是风风火火、无坚不摧的人,强大到不会让任何人心生怜爱。她会在burke走后,说I miss burke.可是一转头她又去钻研她的医术了;她会在飞机失事的时候抱着Meri说,you are always my person. 也会头也不回地逃到明尼苏达;她会在冰天雪地里对着Thomas嚷嚷,没有你我怎么办,离开你我什么都做不了,也会在Thomas在手术台倒下以后喝下一整瓶龙舌根飞回西雅图醉醺醺地对Meri说,所有人都死了。是啊,所有人都死了,George死了,Iz走了,Lex死了,Mark死了,Thomas也死了...生命那么脆弱,可是她们还在艰难而又充满斗志地活着,努力拯救着大大小小的生命和爱。Burke以后有Owen,可是当她看到Owen和那个小男孩在一起那么幸福地时候,她终于控制不住地去问Owen,当我站在手术台上的时候,我是为手术室而生的,即使是非常枯燥的手术我都能感到纯粹的快乐和满足。可是,你告诉我,你确定吗,是不是有我你就足够了?面对Owen闪烁的答案,她终于还是走了。爱一个人,要给他幸福。可是爱自己呢?Yang在黑暗里抱着Owen低声痛哭,她说just because I'm the one who said it was time...doesn't mean this is easy for me. This is not easy for me. 还记得Meri在修改遗嘱的时候,跑去问Yang,你不愿意当Zola和胎儿的妈妈是吗,她很直接地说,是的,但我会是这个世界上最酷的阿姨。
Mer说过People don't change,然而他们真的不,两个人的合拍与默契从张口的第一句话就能感受到,也对,不合适的人怎么会在一起,不相爱的人为什么结婚又逃走,懂的人就是懂,无论任何时候遇见对方。C还是会禁不起诱惑在不确定B的心意的时候最随着他去,谁也没忘那杯咖啡,而他们一起工作时的那曾经最熟悉不过的场景,这背景音乐里随着拍子打响指的完美节奏,不太刻意也不太轻佻,你还是你我还是我,她和他再怎么故意无视也无法避免的回忆。Mer与Christina的友情的确牢固幸福,但Christina的soul mate从来只有一个,从来就只有把她视为partner, lover, very best friend的Burke一个,不知道时过境迁,一面之缘,他们还够不够格最后那一个我最珍视的情感定义。C说发生在她身上最好的事就是B在婚礼现场的转身离开,B说另外一个女人是他此生最爱,从什么时候C开始说话赌气,B成为了one of those optimistic couples,都在躲闪,不过躲闪的不是那点遗留的私情,而是可预见的热烈的未来,唯一的代价不过是Burke再也不能够发现那little push是太多了还是刚好,可那又怎样,反正7年里该经历的都已经发生了。
理智与爱共存,然而这样的一个partner, lover, very best friend上哪里遇见?遇见了会相爱,相爱了会要求更多,更多的一个给不了一个不想不心甘情愿地要,即使这样也不能否定这光辉到能量爆棚造成伤害的爱,思维上的共鸣便是曾经痛苦的最大回报,即使这样,也不应该后悔,我曾经那么努力地成为我,我曾经那么幸运地找到你,这不再孤单的幸福感我值得一切时间度量,也值得平行宇宙里无限可能的我与你的精神连接。我因为自身体验过而认同心理学上对亲密关系和行为的渴望,但这不是成就我们的原因,而这也同时成为了我的骄傲和遗憾。戒断掉彼此为彼此找到可以生存的空间,最不需要的就是从新开始,因为显然我爱你,缠绵羁绊还会来。他们都走了,他们却还在,情已不在,但那爱刹那芬芳。